BEATING THE BEAST
Updated: Mar 2, 2019
“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.”
- Marianne WIlliamson
I'm still in disbelief! I was praying, but doubtful for a top 5 finish, but placing first in my first fitness competition - is me blowing my own damn mind.
The first time I thought about dieting ... was grade 1. I had already been teased so much by family & at school for being “chubby” that by the time I was 6 years old I thought I needed to change my body. I hated it. For some reason everyone thought making fun of my ‘roundness’ was amusing- uncles, aunts, cousins, kids at school (but never ever my parents or sister- which I’m grateful for)
This has been a lifelong battle for me. Lose weight, gain it back, lose it again, gain it back - never be satisfied. But this time - is different. It wasn’t a crash diet. It wasn’t a fad or trend. It wasn’t using any fat burners. It wasn’t starving myself. It was a long-term commitment to understand what I was working with & how to serve it best. Everyday. It was about finding joy in the process. Barely weighing myself - but counting how many more pushups I could do. How much more weight we could throw on the squat rack. How to make me the strongest physically & mentally. Because after all, just like running my first half-marathon several years ago- I had to believe I had the will power & strength & then commit to doing everything it takes to achieve the goal: a life change.
I’ve never been more strong & fit in my life. This was hard. Saying no to things I wanted (like wine & sweets!) Saying yes to lifting & cardio regularly. There will always be excuses. I just used them more often before. You choose everything in your life. You choose what you don’t have time for and what you MAKE time for. You choose what goes into your body. So where I am now - is a choice. A commitment. It is tough to be disciplined- but the results are so worth it. Because I’m choosing to end my battle with my body. It’s state will fluctuate - but now that I’ve seen what I’m capable of - I can’t use the same excuses I used to- and I’m so glad I can’t. This is my personal best.
A big thanks to Ana Plentar from Build my body beautiful, for being a fabulous coach for 10 long months. Thank you to my personal trainer Al Pawlowski for kicking my ass on the regular and not letting me make any excuses - when we both knew I was stronger than I was letting on..
Finally thanks to my husband who has been patient and supportive - even during the zero carbs days...